I lived in Grenoble, France in 2010, which is about a 3 hour TGV southern train ride from Paris. It’s funny that everybody always mentions Paris when they talk about France, but Paris is just that important to the French identity. The French heard throughout all of France today is essentially Parisian French. And it’s true that there are other French dialects, but it was Parisian French that asserted it’s authority and spread across France. Today there are few french people who speak dialects like Occitan, Breton, or Alsatian.
History of the french language was just one of the many things I learned while in France. First, it’s good to note that French culture is complicated and goes back centuries. Surprisingly the country of France has been around since the year 843 and there have been Frankish people well before that. French identity and national pride is strong and it’s reflected in current people’s attitude, language, food and culture. Why talk about French identity and national pride? Because it explains the 8 things I learned while living in France.
1. So much beauty, so little time
First off let me say that France is extremely beautiful and it’s no wonder that painters, poets and tourists came rushing into France over centuries. There is so much variety in France, which is about the same size as my home state of Texas, that it’s actually overwhelming. Every city and every region has something historical attached to it and it feels that every city is more authentic, more beautiful and more French than the next. After living in France for 6 months, I did experience some amazing parts but I still haven’t seen the Loire Valley or Normandy or the Pyrenees and many more French regions. And I’m counting down the days when I can go see more of France and spend more time in all its regions. Most tourist will only spend maybe a week in France, which really is barely scratching the surface.
Chartreuse, France
2. The joys of long meals
You haven’t experienced eating yet, if you haven’t had an authentic French dinner. It sure is expensive but all you need to do is pop into a nice French restaurant anywhere in France and let the night wash over you. I had many opportunities to enjoy a long French dinner but the one that I remember the most happened in Dijon, France. I sat for 3 – 4 hours watching 3 courses of food come to our groups table while sipping on French wine. I don’t think life can get better than that. But that is why I love French culture so much. Once we had made reservations at that restaurant, we were going to be the only table for that night. All attention was on us and we weren’t rushed. And of course we paid more but it was quality food and excellent service. Plus there was wine.
Eating French Food with Friends in Grenoble, France
3. French are welcoming, but not right away
There seems to be this stereotype that the French are not really that welcoming. That may be true in the past but from my personal experience that is further from the truth. They ARE welcoming but at first a little distance. I’ve come to realize that this distance is just ingrained in French mentality and is actually an European attitude. The Swiss are actually pros at this. The idea is that if you don’t know someone that well than it’s not like you’re going to become best friends over night. You have to work for the friendship and actually have a conversation. You have to open yourself up. They want to know that a friend will always be there and not just come and go. It’s why most French have friends from their childhood. So it is hard to break through, sometimes, but overall I met and know many French people. And they’re lovely.
The house I lived in while in France
4. Train strikes happen all the time
Why talk about strikes on this list? While living in France, I had the pleasure of getting stuck many times at train or tram stations do to strikes or what the French call ‘la manifestation.’ And there was a point that I became curious to know why the French are always striking and shutting down trains? So I asked my host family and they said, well it’s just apart of our culture. And then proceeded to ask why Americans are “this way and that way, etc.” Good point I guess. But they strike because they have the power to do it and to say to their own government, we don’t like this so it’s time to change. And you know what? They get attention because they know many French and tourists alike use the trains or public transportation. They hit on inconvenience and they get noticed.
A strike in Paris, France
5. Wine is cheap, but that’s about it
As an American student living in France in 2010, I was all about looking at prices and budgeting. Before France I liked wine a lot but when I lived in France I loved wine. In a country that is all about tourism and luxury brands, it can be hard to find anything that is a bargain. First, the Euro is stronger than the dollar and it was even stronger in 2010 that it is today. So even going out to bars and clubs could be expensive except if your ordered wine, which is what I mostly had on my 21st birthday. It’s even cheaper if you buy it in a grocery store and pre-game at your host parents house, *wink*and that’s why I loved it! France is known for its wine and being that it was so cheap, that’s what I usually drank.
French wine on my 21st Birthday
6. Speaking French gets you a long way
Many American friends tell me that they found France hard sometimes, and that nobody speaks English adding to the confusion. That is actually true, not very many French speak English and if they say they do it’s usually broken English. The reason I came to France was to study French, so I learned how to speak French on a daily basis. And it helped tremendously with my stay and the connections I made with French people. Everybody was that much more helpful and that much more friendly when I spoke French. I didn’t feel like an outsider and it was one of the few times in my travels that I felt I belonged in a foreign country. It was nice. If you’re one of those people who had a hard time in France because no one spoke English, than consider if French people came to the United States. We would expect them to know English, so you can’t get too frustrated.
Parler français?
7. Sexuality is different, especially male sexuality
You could say that sexuality is more liberal in France than other European counterparts and especially more liberal than the US. When I first went to France I didn’t tell my host family at first that I was gay out of fear that they may freak out. I guess it was my American psyche creeping in. But I finally told my host brother, who asked first, and all he said was “In France, people accept gay people. It’s natural for you so why would it be a problem?” Exactly what I wanted to hear and it was a relief coming from another male who is straight. Because in France men whether they are gay or not still all hang out together and the same with women. French men are more affectionate towards one another and way less homophobic than American men. I’ve heard many French straight men have even fooled around with other men out of pure curiosity. United States is heading in the right direction but we are still behind.
Men holding hands in Toulouse, France
8. French love American culture, just not our politics
They really love America and American things. There is nostalgia about the American West, American cities and American people. They love American music and sometimes even American food. They look at us with pure fascination, curiosity and sometimes like we are a freak show. They don’t understand a lot about our culture but many still enjoy American things and like many of our ideals. The French actually like Americans! I know it’s hard to believe because we are told by many that the French don’t really like us. But we have been their friend ever since we won our independence from Britain with their help. It’s just they don’t understand why we are so hardcore about things like religion and feel our government is over reaching. It’s comforting to know that their politics can be just as confusing.
A Starbucks in France
And the countless other things I learned…
When it was all said and done I was only in France for 6 months but I took away so much good from that country that it will always have a special place in my heart. I learned many other countless things and this post could easily be a list of 100 items (perhaps I’ll write more in the future). I’m heading back to France in July after a 4 year absence and can’t wait to experience completely new things. Like I said earlier, France is a huge country and will take many visits to even uncover the major cities let alone the countless regions and villages.
